The goody bags given to the released sailors as they left Iran contained a "load of junk", sailor Arthur Batchelor has complained.
The disgruntled 20-year-old has revealed how the Iranians took his iPod - a gift from his girlfriend - and gave him a "tacky suit" and a gift bag in return.
Inside the patterned bags were CDs, books, Persian handicrafts and toffees containing pistachios - an Iranian speciality...
...he was "still waiting" to get back his treasured iPod, which had on it a song that was playing when he first met his girlfriend.
Hm. If the girl gifted the iPod to him, how was the song playing on it when he first met her? Or was it playing elsewhere? When these people sold their stories to the media, why didn't they think of asking for new iPods and new songs to play on them?
Perhaps the CIA can take some clues from this episode on how to torture Iraqi prisoners, getting them to divulge all in two weeks. Just take away their iPods. And hope that the prisoners have learned something of British fortitude.
The episode brings a whole new meaning to the phrase widely used of English cricketers, "whingeing Poms". And David Cox is not happy.
No need to bring out the electrodes. These were men at arms who would vomit with terror at the sound of a gun being cocked.